Write or die!

Why do I write?  It helps me filter through my shit.  I'm always at that point when I'm overloaded but seriously, it don't mean a thing.  Why? cause I have the power to reset my brain and whoosh, I can start prioritizing my targeting system.  Who's next?

I love life, it pushes you, it never lets up.  You are the fruitcake that believes in being happy and having dessert for every meal ... or kale.  Well, it don't work that way.  If it does then, stop reading and get back to your kale!

Life loves confrontation.  Simple.  If you understand that, you will survive and hopefully thrive.  If you don't, you'll be crying every time someone says something or takes your cake ... you thought it was yours dummy? you have to fight to keep it.  The world is cold that way but all it wants from you is for you to learn and teach to others.

If we seem dumber today is not because we lack knowledge, wisdom or venues to wisen up and learn new things.  I blame it on laziness.  First learn then, teach.  That's the way of humanity.  Your enemies teach you by the way they run your line and you either learn tactics and strategize or you fail miserably... in which case, depending on what kind of enemy you have, you either are dead or you learnt something and get back at them.  Simple.  That's life.  Don't get all crazy with that notion that you don't have enemies, you do, you are just too dumb to know it.  There's all kinds out there.  I'm not saying be ready to bash them, I'm asking to understand your environment, yourself and understand that there's going to be situations popping left and right, and you're it!

What are my stats?  I don't have any.  I just know from living in the world.  You can disprove me anytime you want.  I'll be happy to be proven wrong.  Life however is never wrong.  It will beat you senseless, laugh at you and then, when some miracle happens you will be praising some unknown power and loving life.  Throw some demons in there for good measure.  There's more to the spiritual I'm sure but I'm not getting into it.

Loving life, sure we should do some of that.  Are you going to be happy?  Maybe I don't know.  I'm happy at this moment when I'm writing but neglecting my trucks and such ... the mind is so wonderful that way.  If you're always thinking about the future, you're going to be miserable.  Think about your strategy and the tactics to survive the next few weeks ... repeat and repeat with the goal of what you want in life.  Whether you get it or not, well, that's to be seen.  How long can you go without a meal?

You don't have to understand me, it don't matter one bit.  You know why?  The way I look at it, I'm successful, I have done my own in the world, I have lived the way I wanted to.   I fucked, I drank and I conquered my fears ... sometimes the outcome was harsh but I learned a lot.  Now, I teach what I know, the way I know it.  If I'm not a good venue, move on, there's plenty of others.  Fucking is important, I'm a man, I would know.  Ask any scientist.

I'm here to empower those around me.  Maybe, maybe not.  Some make a lot of excuses of why they want to remain pieces of shit, losers and/or can't see a bigger pictures of themselves.  We are all so capable, that's the thing.  We cut ourselves short every single time.  That's why you should be around those that tell you to get back on the saddle and ride!  Live now 'cause we ain't getting out alive out of this joint, I assure you.

Okay, that's what I have ... there's more but I just want to go back to sleep now.  Maybe I will.  There will always be a ton to do.  That's why I hire guns to come and get me out of the hole.

Okay, I'm not done.  On the subject of hire guns.  Empower them.  Give them responsibility.  Teach them to treat work as their own so when they finally get their brains on they can run operations on their own and maybe, be successful.  Or, they can be partners and shoulder the load.  Oh, you think this is just about me sitting pretty, asking you questions and sharpening my knife? ... well, you gonna learn today!

Some of them will fail.  Repeatedly.  No worries, you'll learn from them and them from you, bash them and understand them.  That's how it goes.  Some say don't be too hard on them.  Fuck, are you kidding?  Be true to them and make them be the best here so they can either quit and stop wasting your time, or run the business at top notch level.  Then, they can own it and love it.

There's more to it than that.  I'm not saying bashing works, I'm saying ask them why they done it the way they did.  Questions from you is going to be a pretty hard hit for them because you're the boss.  So, don't be a bitch, ask away so both parties can learn.  Communication.  Duh.

Okay, I'm done.  You want to know more on how to be successful?  You gonna have to ask questions, read and deploy what you have learned into the world.  Be ready, you're going to get crushed!  What that means is that you're going to learn a lot and be much better at the end.

Life is a team sport... uh... I kinda want to keep going but no, gonna stop.  My brain feels better now.

Man Basics: Mama

I read or heard on the Ted app about how women are good multi taskers.  All I heard was:  Another fucking excuse for men to be useless pieces of shit.

Why?  Think about your childhood.  When you was born, you were born to a loving mom, maybe or equivalent if you was lucky.  If you wasn't, fuck it, you still have no excuses.  Keep reading.

What do you remember about your mom?  Diligent, loving in her own personal way, no shit taker, always doing something whether cleaning, preparing food, making her own chocolate chips from cacao beans, from scratch, to sell to the neighborhood so they could have sweet chocolate in cool mornings.  Remember when she somehow kept carrying the load of the family and even when totally exhausted, ready to pick up a machete to protect your ass when the dogs warned of incoming unknowns, or hold you when there was a quake and you woke up scared or, when there was a firefight nearby and you was totally used to it that you slept through it, she was still there, watching, ready to hug you tightly telling you you was gonna be okay.

Sure, you might remember slightly different versions of the above but really, she done what she had to do.

The point?  You as a child grew up with the best example of a human being but for some retarded reason you don't get it.  Instead of looking carefully at those memories, digesting what it meant, you what?  You become this dumb fuck that thinks a man is a destroyer and shit kicker, sure there's time for that in a man's life but have you forgotten the face of your mother?

Honor your creator, your prime instructor and ponder on her actions.  Be a man of action, be a multi tasker, be a true friend to those around you, be kind, be loving, be ready to be more kind when things get bad.  Brutality and harshness are second nature to us, no need to over use it.  Bring it out when it truly means something, learn from your mama.

If she was here now, she would stand for you even when she knows you're a piece a shit.  Can you say that you live up to her powerful standard ... I fucking doubt it.  As long as you live, you will have your work cut out for you because a man must stop, think, process and initiate action which is difficult but not impossible.  Everything starts with one step towards the destination.

What made me think of this subject?  I was working on my truck then hit a block so instead of becoming upset, I fell back to cleaning up my area of the junk I have accumulated and loaded on my sweet mini dump truck.  This allows for me time to formulate a solution.  In all that clean up, I came across my old power washer, I tinkered with it and fixed it!

Where do you think I learn all this?

A man is judged by what he does and doesn't do.

That's why most men don't man up.  They selectively choose to live under the shadow of mediocrity.  Was it your upbringing, your past, your history, your heritage, your mom or your enabler at this very moment?  It fucking don't matter you piece of shit.

What matters is:  What you gonna do about it?  Or not.

It is wise to choose your life's path carefully but the best lives are lived by doing and fucking shit up.  Mistakes.  Yes, good intentions and burning for it.  Stress, lots of stress, learn to love it!  Better than the alternative.  Cooped up in some hole waiting for mommy or equivalent to cook the next meal.  Or even better,  sleeping the day away because you're too afraid to make impact... yeah, still living at home while mom and pops keep kicking ass and racking up the body count.  I mean, I'm judging you right now, I find you disgusting.

On the other hand, when you choose to be the first one to volunteer to help your annoying neighbor, your shitty family member and be willing to lose the dead weight.  What do you get?

You get freedom.  You get a reputation for being a man of action with some powerful thoughts on that meat head.  Men will hate you or begrudgingly respect you and women will love you.

Some say that we shouldn't be judged.  I say, fuck it, judge me as long as you get on your knees ... to pray.  Why?  Because I'm going to fucking do it like a man and even when my annoying neighbors pesters me, I will go ahead and help out where I can.  Why? cause I'm a man, I was made to kick ass and rack it up so pray for me because I probably will fuck it up along the way.

I'm willing to carry the dead weight, yeah, the minute you need my help, you complain to me, you're right there on my shoulders along with a few others so make room, I can handle a lot more than you.

That's what a man does.  You know why?  Because the world needs us.  We are there silently listening to others about their shitty lives but then, we are the ones going or should be:  What you gonna do about it?

Take pride that you're there to carry the weak, to help those who are looking to be stronger but haven't figured out how but don't just do it.  Remind the weak, the clueless, the useless, the complainers and misguided that they too have to carry the Lighting, the spirit of humanity, that they must be light and deny the darkness.

Be proud, be willing to fuck up and shine at the same time... be humble but don't over do it.  What that means is, accept it when you fuck up and get back at doing your job, you sack of shit... that's your new constitution.

Now, don't get me started on hobbies ... ugh ...

Liberation

Who are you?  If you smile when you get that question then, you might be onto something.  If you frown, chances are you might be needing a little help.  When it's you, you should always smile, you know that, right?

Either way, it don't matter except to you.  If you are thinking about your shitty past and conforming your present to that same shitty past then, you are not being yourself.  You are your yesterday.

When you think of yourself, you should think of that person you see in your mind as in the best motherfucker you image .  Not the idiot that gives in to emotions, but the person who is not insulted by big or small and, continues a path of objectivity but understands why people are idiots.

Simple.  Now you do it.  Today, you get on your horse.  Think of who you want to be.  Do it.  One step at a time.  That's it.

For instance, for those slow ones on the back.  You wake up cheery and ready to complain about the world, don't.  Stop. reset.  No more complaining.  Remember the 3 C's.

Don't Complain, Don't Condemn, Don't Criticize.

Yes, it is that simple.  It's called programming and that nugging you got there, it's waiting for input from you.  Now you do it.

You have began your own invasion of your own mind.  All that shit you were fed as a kid and all that, that's over, we have a new player in town, you.

The empty place

Ever feel that sensation where you're done.  The needle redlining, amber lights are flashing, well, you ain't a fucking truck but you get the sense.

Every nailed paw that falls on the hardwood, every breath from my dog seems so provoking but to what exactly?  I guess I want to go to that room or space that envision in my mind.  The empty place.

I don't want to think, I don't want to hear and I don't want to do.

Why?  I guess because I don't know how to manage things in life at that very moment.  I wish and honestly, I do.  But there's always that part of you that wants to go to the empty place, no, not about hanging yourself from a bridge or anything like that.  I'm laughing inside my head now about all these things I write, they amuse me and I feel better because I know a few people who will laugh with me.  Disturbed, yeah, just like you.  I just decided to write it down, just the tip of the iceberg because I don't think the rest would be taken well.

Anyway, back to the empty space.  One advisor says go on a road trip, I'm pretty sure others would say drink it up, walk, sleep but when the responsibility is on you, you don't get to do that.  You get to function and continue moving because nothing is about you.  It never was.  At least for me.  You'll see, you'll change your mind when you start seeing the patterns.

So, the empty place is my meditation stage.  Somewhere inside I tap into it as I continue to function.  I don't yell or scream at the injustices of the world instead I breath slowly, I walk slowly and talk slowly.  Why?  Because that's the only way to be submerged in the muck and make it to the other side but really, we all know there's no other side, the brain just needs a little imaginary target to get the mess of you out of your funk.

I made up the meditation stage, I have no idea what else to call it.  I know it works.  You know, just like you and your vehicle, you know it works by magic or science, it don't matter.  It works and that's all there is to that.

Now to keep functioning instead of breaking down.  It has been rough the past few months but I think I have been my best for the most part.  That's important to me.  The stuff in my head and my feelings, I can learn more about managing them and continue to be immersed in my world which is rich with interaction with shitty and awesome people.  No excuses.

Feelers

Being a human means getting angry, being happy and overall upset over something or other.  Maybe it's your kid being lazy.  Lazy?  Or enabled?  Not sure which.  Either way, my job is to look at myself first.  Yes, I'm a mess, an angry mess most of the time.  Running on smoldering 24/7.

Why?  Why not.  I give my best presentation to those around me.  When I'm finally alone I can be more vocal about my perceptions.  

With my 10 year old son, Mars … well, he is instructed based on concepts, principles and team work.  Sometimes, he slacks to the point I have to bring him out of his lazy zone.  Or I stop enabling him.  Whichever.  So, I lead him to see the world thru a more precise lens where discipline is necessary.  This is after he has been given opportunity to rectify his trajectory but youth comes with a price.

He's not allowed to act as a victim.  He's to be proud, walk tall, even the tone of his voice must be right. If he's angry and whatever else he wants to feel but never a victim, he's an initiate, an apprentice, a recruit.  So, he will correct his actions and do so as a man, that's what I train him to be.  A human, a man and one day a professional.

I train men to be the best they can be, if they are to be around me.  Same goes for me.  I have to keep working on myself to keep up with the new generation.  We all fail, many times but we get up and we keep on practicing the skills that keep teams functioning efficiently.

It doesn't mean that there's a lot of anger projected at the initiate, it's mostly direction and training on how to operate a broom, rags, vacuum, washer and dryer encompassing the operation of a team based environment along with communication.  A hug or two at some point when he says, I've done it!

Other important seasoning is the sharing of concepts, the whys, the reasoning all bound together to form a session of learning.

Then, more cleaning until clean is clean.  This is the way of the outfit.